³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴ and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3–5

Multi-generational relationships are powerful. You can learn a lot from spending time with a ninety-year-old who has witnessed decades of change. Likewise, being around women in their twenties and thirties keeps us feeling young and energetic. As I approach 50, I realize that I am now the older woman. I have women in my life who are older than me, and they continue to teach me through their wisdom, love and support. I’ve learned from some truly godly women, and I am deeply grateful. In return, I want to be that Titus 2 woman who invests in younger women walking the same path I once did. This passage provides four powerful instructions for older women on how to live in a way that models a Christ-centered life. 

Paul first urges older women to be reverent—or respectful—in their behavior toward others. I saw a funny meme the other day: two women sat in the front seat of a car while three kids filled the back. Two of the kids were screaming at each other, and the youngest was crying because she had left her toy at home. The ladies began an adult conversation that turned gossipy. The kids’ radar went up immediately—they went silent and started listening in. Young ears are always listening. No matter their age, they are observing and taking notes. Our behavior is on display, even when we don’t realize it.

So, what does reverent behavior look like? First and foremost, it means living in accordance with the gospel. That’s what sets godly women apart. Many women have worldly knowledge and “good advice,” but if they aren’t living lives surrendered to Jesus, they are leading younger women down a path without eternal purpose—a path that will one day end. Our purpose is greater, and our prize is beyond anything this world can offer. It’s vital to model a gospel-centered life, because our younger generations are watching.

Paul then says not to be slanderers. Matthew 12:34 says, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” In other words, whatever is in your heart will flow out of your mouth. That’s a promise. If you speak with anger, rage or ill intent toward others, what does that say about your heart?

Women gossip. I’ve never met one who hasn’t. Many say they don’t participate in those conversations, but it happens. I’m just as guilty. I’ve been caught up in gossip plenty of times, and it always leaves me feeling a little icky afterward—wishing I could undo it. That’s conviction. The Holy Spirit whispers, “No ma’am, don’t do it!” But somehow, I still fall into the gossip trap. 

We should build each other up instead of tearing each other down. We’re all in this together, and we rarely know the full story of what someone else is going through. Who am I to judge another woman’s actions or circumstances? We’re called to love one another and to speak kind words. No one is perfect, but when I am intentional in my walk with the Lord, kindness and love flow from my mouth instead of slander and bitterness. 

The third thing Paul mentions in verse 3 is that older women should not be slaves to much wine. Ladies, don’t use alcohol as a crutch, and don’t get drunk. It’s that simple. Paul also tells men in verse 2 to be self-controlled, dignified and sober-minded. Using wine to numb feelings or to “check out” when the kids are driving us crazy can easily lead to poor choices and behavior—even when we don’t realize it. There wouldn’t be a million “mommy wine time” reels on Instagram if this weren’t true. The same warning applies to any craving or habit that takes your eyes off Jesus. 

What’s controlling you so strongly that you can’t hear the truth or feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit? Is it alcohol, food, shopping, envy, lust, jealousy or pride? Paul says to check yourself, because the example you set for younger women can be either a launchpad or a lid to their own walk with Christ. 

Finally, Paul says to teach what is good. We can be quick to give advice when what’s really needed is a listening ear. Not everything we’ve experienced needs to be shared. Before that coffee date with a younger woman, ask yourself, Will this be helpful to her marriage, her parenting or her walk with Christ? There are plenty of things in my marriage and my parenting that I got wrong. Some of my experiences can be valuable lessons; others are simply poor choices better left unshared. Choose your conversations wisely.  

Teach with humility. Sometimes what a younger woman— whether a new wife, new mom, college student or young professional—needs most is simply for you to listen. It’s not about how much information we can give, because they’re smart and capable of figuring things out on their own. It’s about building trust so that our words carry weight. To earn the right to be heard, we must first understand who she is, what’s in her heart and what her needs are.

Do life together. Learn from one another. Teach each other. We are all on this road to reverent behavior together. We won’t always get it right but when we seek a deeper, more personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the overflow of our hearts will pour out of our mouths in reverence to Him. 

God, I pray for wisdom when we speak. Help us prioritize reading and meditating on Your Word. Give us understanding to act according to Your purpose and will. I pray for a younger generation on fire for You—one that longs to be closer to You. Soften their hearts so Your Word can land on fertile soil. Give them an eagerness to know You and draw near, that they may become strong, godly women equipped to lead the next generation. Amen.