A Great Woman is a Humble Woman

Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.”
Matthew 20:23

So far this week, we have learned through Matthew 20 what it looks like to be a sabbathed woman—how to be in a relationship with our Father. Then we learned what it looks like to be a persevering woman. Jesus taught the disciples what it means to persevere through suffering and trials of many kinds because of their faith. Today, we look at what it means to be a humble woman. 

James and John’s mother asked if her sons could sit at Jesus’s right and left when He was elevated to His throne in Heaven. We read Jesus’s response in verse 22: “You don’t know what you are asking.” Then in verse 23, Jesus said that they will drink from the same cup as Him, but granting them a place by His side was not up to Him—it was up to His Father. 

That is the perfect example of humble authority. Jesus was saying, It is not my decision to grant! Although He is fully God—the second person of the Trinity, co-equal with God the Father and God the Spirit—Jesus lowers Himself, becomes a man and lived under the authority of His heavenly Father.  

When Jesus said, “You will indeed drink from my cup,” He knew that they would one day suffer as He did. He revealed His authority by knowing their future, how they would die, and also by knowing His own death. In the same sentence, Jesus shows His authority to the disciples and then followed it with humility and submission to His Father’s authority. 

Everyone lives under authority. You grew up with parents and teachers who had authority over you. You have, or still have, bosses who exercise authority. Or maybe you are a boss, parent or teacher who has authority over others. How do you handle authority? Do you rebel against it or do you submit to it? And if you are in authority, do you abuse it or do you lead with humility and grace? 

We all have authority in our lives, no matter our status. Even the president of the United States has to submit to the government’s authority. It’s there for a reason, whether we agree with it or not. Submitting to authority is not the popular choice—a spirit of rebellion permeates culture.

Choosing not to submit to the human authority placed over us is rebellion against the authority of God. Who is responsible for all authority in heaven and earth? Matthew 28:18 says, “And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” So when we resist earthly authority, we reist God’s authority. We may not like our bosses or government leaders. We may think our parents are out of touch and our teachers are unfair. But God instructs us to submit to authority and to do it with humility and grace. 1 Peter 2:13–14 (NIV) says, “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, ¹⁴ or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.” There is no guarantee that leaders will always act rightly or agree with what you believe, but God still calls us to humble ourselves and submit. 

God does not promise that this will be easy. In fact, He says the opposite. 1 Peter 2:18 says, ¹⁸ Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust.” Human authority is sinful and imperfect, and submitting to it is hard—especially when it is cruel or unjust. 

Being a humble woman means completely submitting to God’s authority first and foremost. In Matthew 16, Jesus did not give Peter the keys to the kingdom of heaven until he confessed Jesus was the Son of God and submitted fully to His authority. Jesus knew Peter could be trusted—not because he was perfect, but because he humbled himself to the lordship of Jesus Christ.

So, do you submit to the authority God has placed over you? Maybe you have a boss, whose leadership is intolerable or harsh and it is hard to sit under. God calls us to submit even when it it’s hard, when we disagree or when we think we can do it better. Jesus Himself submitted to Roman authority when He was arrested and sentenced to death, though He was innocent and did not deserve this punishment. Submitting to His Father’s authority was far more important. And in order to submit to His Father’s will, He submitted to earthly authority and endured the cross—the ultimate sacrifice.

Maybe you’ve rebelled against your parents’ authority simply because you didn’t want anyone telling you what to do? It may be time to call them and repent of that rebellious spirit. No one is perfect when it comes to parenting, and as a parent, I can say that it is a fine line between complete joy and utter disaster. Nothing humbles you more than being a parent. Give them grace. Listen, even if you disagree. Half the battle is communication. And parents—if you lead with humility and grace as Jesus leads you, your children may be more receptive to what you have to say.

Wives, submit to your husbands. There, I said it. Well, actually, I didn’t say it—the Bible does. In Ephesians 5:22–23, Paul says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

This is really unpopular in today’s culture. We mock what we don’t understand. It gets misconstrued as woman being submissive to men or men being more powerful or important than woman. But it doesn’t say that. It says wives submit to your own husbands. That’s it—not women, submit to all men. 

This isn’t permission for husbands to rule over us with harsh actions and cruel intentions. In fact, if we read the verse before, verse 21, it says “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” And if you keep reading in Ephesians 5:25, it says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” 

Wives, we are to submit to our husbands’ authority. But husbands are commanded to love us and sacrifice everything for us. When we live in rhythm with these instructions—both husband and wife—I promise it’s just better. But if there is one rebellious spirit between you, it won’t work. It takes two to tango is a phrase for a reason.

If your husband is living within God’s will, submitting to the authority of Christ, and loving you like Christ loves the church—sacrificing everything for you—and you are willfully obeying God and submitting to your husband’s authority, you will see the fruits of that in your marriage. But not until you are both fully living it out. 

And ladies, if you are faithfully submitting, while your husband is not living up to his role—I am sorry. I know that isn’t easy. I pray he opens his heart to the Lord and kneels to the authority of His heavenly Father. Don’t give up. There is power in a praying wife. I truly believe in the power of prayer, and prayer warriors are out there. Gather some prayer partners who will commit to praying with you. Seek a Christ-centered counselor if he is willing. Stay humble. Keep praying Seek God first. I have seen God transform marriages through a wife’s humble obedience to Him.

God will not bless rebellion against authority, and He will not bless authority without humility. If you are constantly resisting authority, ask: Am I fully surrendered to the authority of my heavenly Father or is there a rebellious spirit within me?

Jesus, I pray for every woman under the authority of human leadership. Grant humility and grace and give us complete submission to Your leadership in our lives. Protect relationships from the Enemy who prowls around, seeking to destroy. Remove any rebellious spirit within us.  Amen