A Great Woman is a Sabbathed Woman

What does it take to be a great woman? This week we will be in Matthew 20:20–28, looking at five attributes that make a great woman. Today, we will focus on verses 20–21. 

²⁰ Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. ²¹ And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” Matthew 20:20–21

I’ve never been the “helicopter mom” type. I’ve been around a lot of helicopter moms and thought, Huh, that seems like a lot of work. After many years in youth ministry, I’ve seen it all. And watching my kids in baseball, football, gymnastics and cheerleading, I’ve witnessed a wide variety of parenting styles.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term helicopter parenting, it’s describes parents who are overly involved—hovering, micromanaging, monitoring all aspects of their kids’ lives, and intervening whenever they think it is necessary (versus when it actually is). 

The mother in this passage was James and John’s mom. If I were a betting woman, I’d say she leaned toward being a helicopter mom. Was she wrong to ask Jesus this request for her sons? Maybe. But her intentions were good. She just wanted the best for her boys. And based on her posture before Jesus, she knew who He was and understood what was about to happen, as Jesus explained in Matthew 20:17–19. 

Although Jesus knew her motive in asking for her sons to sit at His right and left in the kingdom, He didn’t respond harshly. He simply said it wasn’t His place to fill those seats. She knelt in reverence before the Lord with the right posture, but the wrong motive. 

We’ve all been there—having the right posture but the wrong motive in bringing our requests to God. Have you ever prayed for your child to make the team instead of another? Have you prayed for something someone else had? Envied another woman’s life, gifts or talents. Or maybe envied the “crunchy mom” who has four sourdough starters, knits cute beanies and sweaters, grows and mixes her own herbs for her kid’s ailments and had six babies, all in a bathtub with no drugs? 

Welcome to being human. We all envy and covet—it’s part of being imperfect. The good news is that we have a Savior. His name is Jesus. And just like James and John’s mom, when we come to Him with selfish desires, He gently washes us clean and shows us His perfect plan. 

Social media is a breeding ground for envy. Whether we are posting or scrolling, the questions we must ask are: 

• Am I doing this to elevate myself or to elevate others? 
• Am I becoming more or becoming less? 
• Am I honoring myself or honoring God with my thoughts and my actions? 

James and John’s mom positioned herself humbly before Jesus, but her motivation was that of a desperate mom who wanted the best for her sons and was used to being in control. Those boys had left everything to follow Jesus for three years. What would become of them? Her questions were legitimate as a fearful mom. 

The only way we can posture ourselves before the Lord with pure motives is by releasing control of what we think we hold. When we humble ourselves before Jesus and truly hand it all over, He can do great and mighty things in our lives and in the lives of those we love. 

Philippians 4:6–7 says, ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Jesus understands our struggles—whether they be control, envy, lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh or the pride of life. He too was tempted by Satan in all these things. 

When you bring your requests to God, ask yourself:

• Do I come to Him with a posture of humility or with an agenda like James and John’s mother?
• Do I seek God’s will or my own?
• Do I make time for Jesus or do I only fit Him in when convenient?

Here are four traits I believe are crucial for a sabbathed woman: 

1. A sabbathed woman’s identity is securely rooted in Jesus Christ. Not the things of this world. Other women’s lives may appear perfect, but perception is never reality. We all have our junk and face our own fears. When we take our eyes off the things of this world and fix them on Jesus—our Savior and Creator—that is when we truly find rest. 
2. A sabbathed woman knows she’s not in control.  And when you release that burden of control, it is a freedom like no other. God was and always will be in control. Why try so hard to fight Him for it?
3. A sabbathed woman knows the value of fellowship. In Jewish culture, the Sabbath means complete rest. You prepare food ahead of time. You don’t work, clean or even push elevator buttons—Sabbath elevators in Israel stop automatically at each floor. It’s a day of rest and fellowship. Ladies, if you don’t have people you can sabbath and do life with, find some.
4. A sabbathed woman isn’t afraid to sit at Jesus’s feet. Sometimes our “Martha” gets in the way of our “Mary.” The things we think are urgent may be the very distractions the Enemy uses to keep us from precious time with Jesus. 

God, I release whatever control I think I have over my kids, my work, my marriage and I give it all to You. Lord, help me rest in Your presence and draw near to You. Let my posture be humility and mercy, and let my motives be pure—not self-seeking, not born out of envy or pride. Amen