16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Genesis 3:16

I find it fascinating that the name Eve is only mentioned four times in the Bible, yet her story is one of the most life-changing, redemptive stories of all time. In Hebrew the name Eve means “to live” or “to give life.” Adam named her Eve because she was “the mother of all living.”

Eve was a woman of firsts: the first woman, the first wife, the first sinner, the first mother and the first to overcome her mistakes. Before Eve sinned, she walked with God in the garden, knew Him and had conversations with Him. God dwelled among them in the garden, where there was no shame and no separation from Him.

In fact, they were so close to God that after Adam and Eve sinned, they couldn’t bear for Him to see them in their sin and shame. They shared a deep, intimate relationship with their Creator that no one else in this lifetime has ever experienced. It’s important to really think about that as we read verse 16. I can’t imagine what those words must have felt like to Eve after having such a perfect relationship with her Creator.

First, God looked at her and said she would have pain in childbirth. And all the mothers agree! I have no idea if the original plan was for her to never experience pain, but if so—way to ruin it, Eve. Then God said, “In pain, you shall bring forth children” (Genesis 3:16). That sounds a lot to me like, “Hey, childbirth is gonna be tough, but it’s only going to get worse.”

There is no pain like kid pain. From childbirth until our last dying breath, we as mothers will experience kid pain!

It’s the second part of Eve’s judgment that is a little harder to grasp—God said to Eve, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). God created Adam with a specific purpose: to lead and to cultivate. He was given the task to lead, cultivate and work the garden before Eve was created (Genesis 2:15).

Adam’s dominance and leadership were to be over the land and all living creatures of the Earth. Eve, however, was not created to be ruled by Adam in that same manner, but to be his helper and companion. She was fashioned from Adam’s own flesh and bone to be one with him. Specifically, God said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

God’s original design for man and woman was to be partners—living in harmony with one another as one flesh, yet with different, unique and equally important roles.

God’s perfect design was broken by our sin, and because of the fall, we will always get caught up in the battle of the sexes. Yet we are not condemned to a life without hope, because we have a Father, a Savior whose name is Jesus, and we have a Helper, the Holy Spirit that guide us through our sins and failures.
The job of helper doesn’t get the respect it deserves—but it should. The Holy Spirit living within us is the difference between life and death. He is our helper: gentle yet powerful, direct yet truthful. Always present, always ready to fight for us and with us.

God’s design and His desire is for us to be helpers as we do life alongside our men—to be gentle yet powerful, direct and truthful when we see roadblocks and blind spots. To be ready to fight for our men and with them when they go to battle. We are also called to love, respect and cherish them as they carry the very demanding role of leading and cultivating both inside and outside the home. Because if you don’t, who will?

(Pastor) Joby tells me often that the only voice that matters is mine. He can recieve a thousand compliments, critiques or opinions, but at the end of the day, mine matters more than all of those combined.

Not all women will find this easy. Some will scoff at it, seeing it as women being inferior or “less than.” Others are already doing a great job building up, standing up for and standing with their men.

But please—don’t bring your Enneagram into this. God’s design has nothing to do with our Enneagram. His words are His words, and we cannot change or revise them to fit our personality type. So, Eights, don’t use this as an excuse to say you can’t or won’t because you’re a leader. And Sixes, don’t try to analyze your way out of this one either.

And sisters, please hear my heart. This isn’t just for married women. It is for every woman—mother, sister, aunt, grandmother and sister in Christ. We are all in this together. We are all daughters of Eve, the mother of all living.

I pray for the Holy Spirit to direct us along the path God designed for us as helpers. I pray against every negative desire and longing to seek power over our men. I pray for wisdom, strength and the ability to submit to His will—His good and perfect will. Amen