Key Scripture:

Ecclesiastes 3:8b – “a time to for war, and a time for peace;”

Devotional:

Just seeing the word “war” brings up so many feelings, none of which are particularly good. I immediately think about recent news events, about childhood fears in a post-Vietnam War world, of the Cold War realities of the 1980s, and about WWII stories from my grandfather and the brutal picture books he had stored in his farmhouse. Why is there a “time” for this? I get the peace part, obviously, but I’m not a fan of the war part. I don’t feel geared for it.

But this is the reality: God has appointed a time for war (Deuteronomy 20, Numbers 31, Joshua 8). Being at war, at times, is part of being human, birthed out of the scattered shrapnel of Adam and Eve and the resulting sin, evil and hatred within our world. God compels us to righteously battle against these things, but He also reminds us in scripture of the covetous and desirous roots of these realities (James 4). They are ever-present. They are ugly. They are temporary.

There is also a time for peace, though it typically doesn’t look like what we envision. For humanity itself, our eternal time of full peace is promised in Revelation, present in the new heaven and the new earth, and absent of the physical and emotional pain we are experiencing now. However, that doesn’t mean peace isn’t available to us now as well. While on this earth, we do have the opportunity to experience true peace through a relationship with God (Philippians 4), grounded in and surrendered to the full sacrifice of Jesus Christ on our behalf. And we can experience this in the mutual relationship with fellow believers as we worship our Lord and Savior (Romans 14:17-19). Granted, you and I can probably manufacture some peaceful, easy-feeling moments every now and then (e.g., being alone on a beach somewhere or locked in our bathroom for a couple of minutes while the kids bang pots and pans in the kitchen), but these are fleeting at best. They are not true peace. They are not true rest. They are fantasies. They are an escape. Though I do love a sunset and the Eagles.

So, what does this mean as we think about marriage? Ecclesiastes 3:8 speaks to an inevitability, a truth, an almost required turbulence and natural rhythm of difficulties and ease, both personally and globally. When I married my bride, I knew there would be arguing as much as I knew there would be joy. However, I can honestly say I did not lend enough weight to either of those things, or to the attention I would have to give them. I thought joy would just happen naturally, and I thought arguments would slowly work themselves out, and sometimes they do. But most times, they require intention and attention. They require confrontation, relation and celebration. They require you, being in those spaces, on purpose. They require war, and they require peace.

Sometimes it is difficult to read truths like this within scripture. Similarly, sometimes it is difficult to recognize truths within our marriage. There are going to be tough times. It is inevitable. But there are also going to be incredible times. Those are inevitable as well. Some of us are better at peace than we are at war, and some of us crave a battle more than a breather. Both of those personalities are likely within your marriage. How do you navigate it?

On April 7, 2001, I stood in front of my bride and spoke my vows of, “In sickness and health, good times and bad times.” Those are statements of essential intent – one statement that answers a thousand future questions. On that day, I pre-decided that regardless of times of inevitable war or inevitable peace, I would stand with my bride and fight for both seasons. Likewise, when I surrendered my life to Jesus, I pre-decided that regardless of circumstances, I would look to Him, for only He brings true peace, even during the realities of war. So, I encourage you to personally surrender to Him, and I encourage you to fully surrender your marriage to Him. He can turn war to peace and promises there is a time for both.

 Deepening questions:

• Where do you feel at war right now? Have you asked God to fight on your behalf?
• Does the state of your marriage, or maybe the state of the world, worry you? Have you ever discussed the promises of God with your spouse? I encourage you to look them up and write them down together.

Further reading:

Deuteronomy 20, Numbers 31, Joshua 8, James 4, Romans 14:17-19