Key Scripture:

Ecclesiastes 3:5a – “a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;”

Devotional:

In the Old Testament, conquering armies would often complete their conquest by disrupting their enemy’s source of life. As they departed the battlefield and left the cities, they would throw stones to cover every piece of land good for crops. Stones would choke out the potential for growth, for fruit. What was once fertile soil would become overgrown with weeds and thorns, a result of rash decisions and retribution. Stones were cast into springs to choke out the flow of fresh water. Without water, inhabitants would become weak and desperate and seek sources elsewhere. For the community to flourish, the stones would need to be addressed.

In marriage we walk through seasons that may feel more like a battlefield than a vacation. In battle our temptation is to cast stones. We get hurt so we retaliate. We feel disrespected so we deliver ultimatums. We didn’t get our way so we accuse. We are tired so we retreat. We are afraid so we control. We feel unloved so we manipulate. The stones pile up. The marriage we have been called to cultivate becomes riddled with weeds of bitterness, anger, cynicism and pride. Thorns of apathy, busyness and distraction keep us at a distance. Rather than drinking from the source of living water and from one another, we find sources in other people, in jobs, in substances, in things that never fully satisfy.

 In order to flourish, stones must be gathered. In order to gather, we must first acknowledge their presence. This acknowledgment is not dissimilar to the process of receiving the Good News of Jesus Christ.  The first step is that we must acknowledge we are sinners in need of a savior. But acknowledgment is not enough; we must permit the clearance of the stones. When we surrender to the lordship of Jesus Christ, we give Him control of our lives, to be the one thing that drives all things and to remove the iniquities of our lives. To do this requires humility. In order to gather the stones in our marriage, it will require humility. No one can pick up a stone without first bending down. As we bend down in humility, Jesus meets us there. 

Once we acknowledge the stone and bend down to gather it, we must take hold of the stone. As we take hold and gather, we do so in a posture of prayer and offering. We lift our hands and with the stone gathered there, we call upon the Lord. With stones gathered in confession and offered in prayer, God gives new life to the fields of our marriage and the source of living water is revealed.

The work of gathering stones is arduous. Gathering requires steadfast obedience. Jesus said He is the source of living water, the well that does not run dry. In Him, gardens grow and vines bear fruit. He also said, “If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” When battles arise, may we gather our stones before Jesus rather than casting them upon our marriage.

Deepening questions:

• What stones have you cast in your marriage?
•  How will you begin the work of gathering today?

Further reading:

2 Kings 3:25, Proverbs 24:23-34, John 16:33, Psalm 55, John 7:37-39, John 15:4-11, Luke 9:23